A smooth sea never made a skillfull sailor.
By Ryan O’Connell
The lesson I’m learning is this: Share yourself with everyone and you’ll find yourself feeling connected to no one.
My list of skills omitted from the resume
Idea taken from here.
Has no shame in weird or public dancing
Has good posture
Understands half of the lyrics in Latin music
Eager to engage in astrology and Myers-Briggs conversations
Dogs trust her upon first meeting
Expert pretender for kids 3-7. Experience in Pirates, Princesses, Superheroes, Cowboy’s, Cheerleaders and various animals
Knows Latin dance basics
Has accepted the fact that when stuffing a car beyond capacity, she will be the person lying on laps in the back seat
Understands foreign accents
Accepts small mistakes in her restaurant order
Does not permanently lose things
Has actually made stuff from Pinterest
Starts the dancing at a party
Clean driving record (!)
Is persuasive to everyone but her own parents
Does not stare at people in passing cars
Will feign interest when you talk to her about celebrity gossip
Has a finely crafted Grooveshark playlist for morning coffee
Could easily go vegetarian, if necessary
Does not give a voice to her dog
Can dominate at Just Dance 2’s “Proud Mary”
Has the patience to wait for movies to go to Redbox
Doesn’t mind if you eat off her plate
Will also talk through scary movies as a coping mechanism
Can fit into small hiding places
To Catch a Predator’s showcase of internet surveillance works within existing American behavioral ideologies to teach viewers to be cautious of their online activity; in doing so the program enforces a panoptic society in place of government surveillance and discipline.
You had no idea.
Ad side of me: “Fantastic emotional connection!”
Comm side of me:”Gender conditioning!”
The curse of Conflicting Studies: love it and hate it because it is uncertainty at its finest. “Cognitive Dissonance” in Comm terms, if you want to sound snobby.
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